last window..

will i be forgiven if i let go of something that i truly think is worthwhile? is life just about letting go of things that are hard, or is it about holding on because its worthwhile no matter how many things stand in your way?.. im confused. is letting go supposed to be this hard? is it's magnitud of difficulty a signal that we shouldn't let go.. i just haven't felt this way before. a subtle constant beat that hums disilusion. i dont know exactly where im going, nor where i came from but i'd like someone to hold my hand on the way to nowhere. and its a feeling of longing that seized as soon as you came.. and i'd wait; if you gave me something to wait for. i've seen your faces, and i just wouldn't change a single thing.

i gave you control, was there anywhere you wanted to go? you were in control, was there anything you wanted to know? and everynight before my eyes closed i wrote on the page that read of you. it doesnt matter who you are, it doesnt matter what you wanted to be.. 'cause you were to me. i tried to decipher the code to you.. or maybe a map.. i need to find my way.. i've walked to far to go back now. dont make me go back. it doesnt matter who you are, what matters is the way silence is closing our door, and absence closes the last window.

g.a.b