the first taste

i lie in an early bed
thinking late thoughts
waiting for the black to replace my blue
i do not struggle in your web
because it was my aim to get caught
but daddy long leggs i feel
that i'm finally growing weary
of waiting to be consumed by you.

give me the first taste
let it begin
heaven can not wait forever
darling just start the chase
i'll let you win
but you must make the endeavor

oh, your love give me a heart contusion
adagio breezes fill my skin with sudden red
your hungry flirt borders intrusion
i'm building memories on things we have not said
full is not heavy as empty,
not nearly my love,
not nearly my love
not nearly

Give me the first taste
let it begin, heaven cannot wait forever
darling just start the chase
i'll let you win
but you must make the endeavor

last window..

will i be forgiven if i let go of something that i truly think is worthwhile? is life just about letting go of things that are hard, or is it about holding on because its worthwhile no matter how many things stand in your way?.. im confused. is letting go supposed to be this hard? is it's magnitud of difficulty a signal that we shouldn't let go.. i just haven't felt this way before. a subtle constant beat that hums disilusion. i dont know exactly where im going, nor where i came from but i'd like someone to hold my hand on the way to nowhere. and its a feeling of longing that seized as soon as you came.. and i'd wait; if you gave me something to wait for. i've seen your faces, and i just wouldn't change a single thing.

i gave you control, was there anywhere you wanted to go? you were in control, was there anything you wanted to know? and everynight before my eyes closed i wrote on the page that read of you. it doesnt matter who you are, it doesnt matter what you wanted to be.. 'cause you were to me. i tried to decipher the code to you.. or maybe a map.. i need to find my way.. i've walked to far to go back now. dont make me go back. it doesnt matter who you are, what matters is the way silence is closing our door, and absence closes the last window.

g.a.b

listen to the night..

sometimes i wonder if everything has a language of its own. if trees and leaves speak their intimate affairs, revealing vehement secrets. do things communicate as we walk by, they're expressions going completely unnoticed. does everything have a song of its own? its own linger to deal with the milestones we cross as we awaken. does the ground we walk on have an opinion of how we go through life and the choices we make? would we be different if we could hear a pencil complain of the words we chose to write on pieces of paper that will never be read. can everything become simple just by learning to hear what moves around us.

i think the night told me not to trust you, but i ignored its whisper. so many moments had been declined, so many intents failed, but that night was special, i reached you. and you were there.. and for once i reached and seized a hand in return.. finally, i thought. and after time heated the fire of desire and longing i had you close enough to touch, to simply observe. i spoke, you listened, words touching my cheek the way only your fingers can caress words unsaid.

undressing vulnerabilities, no matter how coy.. my eyes searched yours, and at moments the night blinded me.. it was its way of telling me not to trust you. but i moved closer as to discard darkness, the closer i became.. the harder the thump was.. of my heart descending into an endless well of questions that will never be answered. and you said that i should give, and i would receive in return, i decided to give. serve yourself from me until there is no more, if i am left dry from your thirst, nothing is to much.

your thirst quenched, but now you refer to me as something unattainable.

g.a.b