circles..

i've tried so intently to drown you in the back of my head, but with no success what so ever. i'm trying to erase you from thought, erase you from touch and sight.. erase you from memories. i'm trying.. what i was so clear on, what was set in my mind, clear above all.. begins to blur and tell me that i don't control my decisions or my emotions.. they don't belong to me. and i just can't wait the moment when you don't come to mind before i close my eyes.. or maybe i'll never let myself not see you when i open them as the sun comes to greet another day that will be filled with you. i dreamt about you last night, and i contradicted everything i've told you in the past month while i've been awake and "sane". my throat is soar from screaming your name in my silence, the nothing that extends through out nights glazed with you. last night i could almost touch you, i never thought i would be so close again, but even dreams reveal a glimpse of reality.. reminding me that i will forget how your skin felt under my fingers. i could never quite touch you.