today, tomorrow, yesterday, a year ago..
is everything always going to be the same? no matter how much you think things are changing or have always changed for you, life always find a way back to you.. and makes you feel your heading back to the slow painful mind throbbing knee jerk reaction of regression. i thought i had finally been marked, burned, scarred for better or worst, but i was different, daylight shines on my not yet opened eyes and introduces the past in what i looked upon as the future.
lately..
things always come out the way you first expect them to, but then decide no to expect things so you toss that idea to the side.. and then it just happens to be you were right in the first place. in life there will always be people that you will try to get on their nerves, and when you finally do and they decide to play the pride card.. give it a few weeks, or even a few days.. and they will most probably be back. if this doesn't work, you will be very disappointed. i really needed to get out of here, i remember that i was following my boring routine down to the bone, laying on my brother's couch when i told him " i wanna go on a trip, i wanna get outta this country." 48 hrs had not elapsed when i received a call from my omma ( grandmother in german) asking me to spend a few weeks with her in miami, FL. i took her up on her offer immediately, and changed my focus into pressuring my dad to book my flight.
first time i traveled alone, it was a little tricky the airport protocol, but i arrived safely to the plane, and when i sat down i felt like atleast 50% of the weight was off me. it was a little plane, and it moved a little more than would of been pleasant. but it was a beautiful flight, it was sunset when we took off, and the couple sitting next to me let me see out the window. hear some music during the flight, and got REALLY hungry but decided not to spend my overly counted dollars on overpriced junkfood that was offered by the flight attendants. i arrived at FT. LAUDERDALE airport, where things were easy going, the airport was basically empty; when i arrived at immigration after a respectful line the officer that i handed my passport made it less than ideal. he was set on the triumph in his own agenda of just having landed a fake passport from Austria. well, he did not succeed, after 30 mins of questions about my birthdate, nationality, and place of birth.. the computer finally accepted my passport # and i was free to head on to baggage claim. i got my suitcase almost immediately and headed out to where i hoped from the bottom of my gut that there were someone waiting for me. my cousin, and my grandparents were anxiously waiting.
my stay in aventura, miami was extremely pleasant.. i vested in the luxury of electricity 24/7 and perfect internet; a room with my own computer, my own phone, my own tv. i really liked the life and the cleanness and how everyone was so nice.. but it was SO HOT. but all good things must come to and end. i had to come back home, and truth be told i missed my family and i missed my boring routine. well i arrived here, with an extra suitcase, and my original one abnormally heavier. i had to wait more ore less half an hr for my incomplete family to arrive, and i talked A LOT in the car, i guess i had a lot to say, and they all seemed so different to me.
i missed my house more than i was aware, and came up the stairs and went to my parents' room where the unpacking ritual always takes place. and gave them everything that was for them, and they all seemed happy. after a few hrs of unpacking and organizing i went to bed. and the first call i received to welcome me home was the person that initially had played the pride card. it was kinda nice, short and sweet. time elapsed and we spoke again but always ending in the same subject that never ends well, and i think it never will because it is not to be talked about.. its meant to happen if it does, with no pre-planning. i dont know if its a good idea or if it isn't, i just dont want to know anything before hand ever again, i prefer to be shocked with the present.
first time i traveled alone, it was a little tricky the airport protocol, but i arrived safely to the plane, and when i sat down i felt like atleast 50% of the weight was off me. it was a little plane, and it moved a little more than would of been pleasant. but it was a beautiful flight, it was sunset when we took off, and the couple sitting next to me let me see out the window. hear some music during the flight, and got REALLY hungry but decided not to spend my overly counted dollars on overpriced junkfood that was offered by the flight attendants. i arrived at FT. LAUDERDALE airport, where things were easy going, the airport was basically empty; when i arrived at immigration after a respectful line the officer that i handed my passport made it less than ideal. he was set on the triumph in his own agenda of just having landed a fake passport from Austria. well, he did not succeed, after 30 mins of questions about my birthdate, nationality, and place of birth.. the computer finally accepted my passport # and i was free to head on to baggage claim. i got my suitcase almost immediately and headed out to where i hoped from the bottom of my gut that there were someone waiting for me. my cousin, and my grandparents were anxiously waiting.
my stay in aventura, miami was extremely pleasant.. i vested in the luxury of electricity 24/7 and perfect internet; a room with my own computer, my own phone, my own tv. i really liked the life and the cleanness and how everyone was so nice.. but it was SO HOT. but all good things must come to and end. i had to come back home, and truth be told i missed my family and i missed my boring routine. well i arrived here, with an extra suitcase, and my original one abnormally heavier. i had to wait more ore less half an hr for my incomplete family to arrive, and i talked A LOT in the car, i guess i had a lot to say, and they all seemed so different to me.
i missed my house more than i was aware, and came up the stairs and went to my parents' room where the unpacking ritual always takes place. and gave them everything that was for them, and they all seemed happy. after a few hrs of unpacking and organizing i went to bed. and the first call i received to welcome me home was the person that initially had played the pride card. it was kinda nice, short and sweet. time elapsed and we spoke again but always ending in the same subject that never ends well, and i think it never will because it is not to be talked about.. its meant to happen if it does, with no pre-planning. i dont know if its a good idea or if it isn't, i just dont want to know anything before hand ever again, i prefer to be shocked with the present.