a red so deep we sunk

i hope the worst is over, cuz im all dried out. i have no more will to fight, i lost it yesterday along with many other things. from a nice memory you became to be a treacherous present moment. i could have noticed at any moment i guess, but it was nicer to live oblivious to the facts. it was astonishing to see you grovel, to see you beg away your dignity, and ever so renounced pride. you wished to know everything that was going through my veins at a magnificent speed, now that the words dawn on you.. you feel dirty and low. words may have that effect on you, but my words at this time will give you nothing but anger and impotence, for i am transmitting my feelings along these words i direct to you.

** the selfish ways of man will never cease to amaze me, how we sometimes mistake our possession over a soul, a soul that belongs to no one and will always wander free, as long as it is allowed to grow. and surrounded by a red so deep, a red of us, made us sink. for what i am to you was so precious you felt the need to hold on to it no matter the lies involved to achieve your most planned objective. and you are so dear to me that i let myself be latched on to you, by your hypnotic voice and feeble words. **

i admit, i am to blame as well as you, but don't be angry at me, don't emit harsh words, do not raise your voice at me! you lied.. but so did i? is a lie only a lie when you're caught performing one? or is it a lie from the beginning? for the enunciation of a false truth. i guess there are different types of lies, my lies would of not hurt you to the extent yours hurt me.. because yours was small and insignificant, like a prickle from a needle.. the annoying itch it provides to the tip of your finger; making you forever aware.

i could scream aloud my many sins, my many mistakes.. it wouldn't matter, i still appear flawless beside you turmoils. my spectro of purity is nothing near transparent, but i didn't hide feelings that needed to burst from my lips.. travel through the air and finally reach their home, which was your heart. but i've done a horrible mess, and my pillow witnesses the songs that i can't forget, that sing my self to nothing but insomnia. but tomorrow i'll put an end to you and everything you represent as a pattern of what should be. and i've heard this song before, i like its tune, and mesmeric melody.. but the songs been in my head for far to long.